The Rubber Band Effect

So it's been roughly 9 months or so since I've last blogged, which there are several reasons for.  And who knows, this may be the only time I blog for the next 9 months.  But that's really neither here nor there.

For awhile I've been stuck in a rut.  I'm not really sure how to describe it other than that.  It's a rut.  And it seemed as though no matter how hard I "tried" to get out of it, I "couldn't."  I'd almost make it, then just as I was at the top, I'd fall right back down again.  And there I'd be, still stuck in the rut.

I quote the words "tried" and "couldn't" because the reality is there are things I could have done to get out.  The reality is I made a choice not to get out - I just perceived it as I "couldn't" so that I could continue to be stuck - if that makes sense.

I was visiting family today and my (highly adorable) almost 6-year-old cousin said something that was hilarious - but then struck me as also applicable to this scenario.  She said "Sam, I can't decide who I love more...cousin Marly, or you cousin Sam."  In my rut, I felt as though this is where I was at with God - "God I can't decide who I love more, you or my idol over here."

And because I continually chose "my idol" - I was continually "stuck."  I call this the rubber band effect because when it feels like we're stuck in this rut, we seem to be wearing a rubber band that will only allow for us to climb so far before it snaps us back down.

So for the past few weeks, lets be honest, months, I've been choosing my idols time, and time, and time again.  I know what's "right," I know what I "should" choose, I just...don't.

But today as I was standing in church something hit me square in the face.  For the first time in awhile, I felt God speaking to me and this is what I heard - "I'm fighting for you.  Don't you understand that there's a battle for your soul?"... and in that instance it was like a brick wall exploded inside of me.

Here are a few things that I would like to point out in Scripture:

1) GOD doesn't tempt us
2) Temptation --> drags you away --> you get enticed --> desire is conceived --> sin --> sin grows to death
3) God's law brings FREEDOM - not a boring, restricted, uninteresting life

Those things can all be found in James, chapter 1 - I encourage you to read about it for yourself.

I was so blinded by my idols that I couldn't see what was right in front of me the entire time.

I have much more to say on this subject, but for now my laundry is done and I should attend to some adult responsibilities like cleaning and jogging and reading TIME Magazine.

Until next time.

Samantha

For[give]

Hello dear readers!

How are you today?  I hope well.  Today marks 5,000 hits on my blog - so someone out there must be reading my my ramblings.  That is good, I suppose.

New on the blog this week:

I have added a bucket list page and a verse of the week page.  More pages soon to come...

The topic today is this: forgiveness.  It seems like such an easy word.  Such a simple idea.  Someone punches you in the face, you simply turn the other cheek and let them punch that one while you say - it's ok friend!  Right?  No?  What then?

Lately, I have had to learn how to CHOOSE to forgive.  That has been something somewhat new for me.  Trust is something, for me, that I initially give out fairly freely - until you break my trust... then you better believe you will need to earn every penny of it back.  This is how I was raised. 

So forgiving someone for breaking my trust goes against every single fiber of my being.  125.7%.

But, within the last few months I've had my trust damaged a few times... beaten down, kicked around, played with, and tainted...

I found this song - Losing, by Tenth Avenue North.  When I heard this song, something just broke inside of me and things started to make sense... slowly... this is the song:

We feel as though when someone hurts us that we deserve to hang on to that anger or hurt.  As if by hanging on to it longer we can feel better, stronger, ...more powerful?  

The song says this - "truth is it doesn't matter if their sorry or not...freedom comes when we surrender..."

I can tell you that these words cannot be more well put.  Freedom does not come from you building up anger, hurt, frustration, and revenge in your heart.  Freedom comes when you choose to give those feelilngs to God. 

It's a choice.

I think of it like this.... if Jesus can forgive me for all the things I've done....why do I deserve to not forgive someone who has hurt me? 

Jesus paid the ultimate price for all of MY sins.  All of my past sins... my current sins... my sins yet to come.

I have no right to not forgive my brothers and sisters in Christ... no matter how "great" that I feel the sin is.

And...the song is right when it says that freedom is the outcome of forgiveness... and ultimately, it doesn't matter if they are sorry or regretful... because reality is this: they might never be sorry...

So it's up to you.  Release it.  Give it to God.  Don't harbor bitterness.  Because by harboring bitterness, you will open your heart up to a gateway of other sins.  Rip that bitterness out - hand it over - release it - heal - move on.  It may not be easy, but friends, its worth it.  Don't you want to live a life of freedom...?

God is good.  Always.  Put it on His shoulders - they are big enough to carry the weight.

Be blessed!

In Him,

Samantha

So you are a Christian...?

Hello dear readers!

It is 9:13pm - a much better time to blog then 2am when all of your thoughts are a bit skewed.  I will need to make this quick because I have to get back to studying for an exam I have tomorrow.  Yuck.  Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about this question - what does it mean to even be a Christian?  It seems like a relatively simple answer...right?  I've also had people ask me - .."so, uh, you are a Christian so that must mean you have to follow a lot of rules and stuff, right?" ... and other things like ... "your a Christian...so you are a 'goody goody, yeah?"...

So essentially, in the "world's eyes," Christianity can mean a few things...

1) You don't party, have sex, or do drugs.  So basically, you don't have fun.
2) You are a good person, and you try to do good things.
3) You are mushy, soft-hearted, and sentimental.  You love children, animals, elderly, the poor, and the environment.
4) You are wrong.
5) You are just nuts.

And to Christians, Christianity can mean a few things...

1) Just believe in Jesus and then you can feel free to do as you please.
2) You should do good things and try and be a good person.
3) You dress up and go to church on Sunday's ...and smile.

...and on and on.

Anyway - so this brings me to my main point: What does it mean to be a Christian?  Because I don't think the answer is as easy as posting "Christian" as your religious views on Facebook.

But... what does it mean to be a Christian at the grocery store?  At the gym?  At the mall?  While waiting in a line? 

If, as a Christian you believe that Jesus is the key to salvation, shouldn't this idea, this love, penetrate everything we do and say?  Yes.  But does it?  Not often.  Why?

In James it explicitly says that faith without deeds [or actions] is worthless. 

Did you catch that?

Worthless.

worth·less 

1. having no value: having no financial or other value or usefulness
2. lacking good, attractive, or admirable qualities: having no good, attractive, or admirable qualities at all

Having no value.  Lacking good qualities. Having no good qualities at all.

I will be the first to say I know my actions don't always line how they should  I know that I do not always display Christ the way I should.  I know that I am human.

But.  I don't want that to be an easy way out...an excuse. 

I want more passion, more persistence, more of Jesus - simply put.

The ultimate goal is to serve Jesus and glorify God.  I want to serve Jesus through my career, my life, my relationships, my money, my possessions... but I don't want any of those things taking the place of Jesus - because ultimately - all of those things will fade - but He will remain forever.

So my prayer is this...
1) I want more passion to serve more boldly and to live out the truth I read about...and not just let God's word be a nice thought in my heart.
2) I want my actions = my words = my thoughts.  I don't want to say one thing, do another - or even think another for that matter.
3) I want to see Christianity for what it really is...not some label or a title.  But what it really means.

Be blessed!

In Him,

Samantha 

The Power of the Tongue

Hello dear readers!

Well it is currently 2:28am, so it seems we have a current theme of my blogs getting wrote later, and later, and later...

But today is my "Friday," so I'm going to okay with this for now.

I've been thinking a lot on the topic of "thankfulness" considering that Thanksgiving is right around the corner... stay tuned for a 'thoughts on thanksgiving' post coming soon.

If you've been following my posts these last few days, you'll know I'm currently wrestling through James.  I don't even feel as though my previous posts have adequately addressed the book and all of my thoughts on it - but a "tid bit" at least gets you thinking.

So here it is, James chapter 3.

The "overall" theme of James 3 seems to be the "tongue" and the power it holds.  I know we don't often think of our tongue having power...but the Bible clearly illustrates something much, much different.

"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts."

"...no man can tame the tongue"

I read these and think - "yes, well that makes sense."  Words hurt, yep I get it.
I get to the next verse.  Then the conviction comes....

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.  Out of the same mouth come PRAISE and CURSING."

Woah.

I just have to pause there for a moment.

So much comes to mind: the angry words I said in my car when a driver cut in front of me, the bitter words I said as I read an unpleasant email from a boss, the comment I said to a friend that was rude without thinking, the way I treated someone to belittle them in order to feel more superior...

And the list continues...

While I've been meditating on that verse I all of a sudden am very aware of what I say, and how I say it.  The worst part is, sometimes it feels like things just keep spewing out - even when I'm consciously trying to watch what I say, and how I say it.  One thing that has come to mind recently is this: sarcasm.

But everyone uses it...right?  So what's the big deal?

Sarcasm may seem innocent, fun, easy... but in reality, I've realized quite recently that by using sarcasm I often cut people down, belittle them, all in what?  Good humor?

Another big thing I am convicted of is this: we curse men, who have been made in GOD'S LIKENESS

So God doesn't give me "approval" to talk badly about others - under any circumstances - no matter what they've done.

I think sometimes I feel as though I deserve to talk badly about another person because they hurt me.  But God makes it clear: they are made in HIS image as much as I am.  The topic of "deserving" something is one I will have to unwind in another post but I do believe we have an issue with the idea that we "deserve" this or are "entitled" to that.

So my prayer is this...

1) That I will be able to carry through the saying "think before you speak."
2) That I may not only be able to tame my tongue and what comes out verbally, but even purify my thoughts.
3) That I understand the true meaning that everyone is made in God's likeness and that hurt doesn't give me a "right" to use words to cut back.


Be blessed!

In Him,

Samantha

[James 2] - DO stuff. Walk the Talk.

Hello dear readers!

It seems to be a current theme that I'm now up at midnight blogging when it used to be that if I wasn't in bed by 10pm I would feel guilty.  Oh well.

So, I'm still reading James.  Still being highly convicted by this really short book in the Bible.  The power of words never ceases to amaze me.

I'm not going to discuss the entire chapter this time, I'm just going to pull out one thing that stuck with me in chapter 2 and that is this: you have to do stuff.

This theme shows up somewhat in chapter one as well but it becomes clear in chapter 2.

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? (v. 14)

Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is DEAD. (v. 17)

...but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? (v.  15)

It seems that within the "American" church today people are okay with coming Sunday mornings, listening, and letting it float out the other ear.  And I'm not saying I am guilty of these same things.  But we simply cannot just listen...we must act.  And its not even a suggestion in the Bible.  It clearly says faith by itself is DEAD...d-e-a-d, caputski, gone, nada, nonexistent...

So, you could have ALL the faith in the world.  You could read your Bible every day.  You could pray ever hour.  But without action... what is your faith, really?  I question myself a lot with this - if I believe in a heaven and a hell, a hell where there is real fire and people really suffer, and a heaven more wonderful then my brain can comprehend...then why do I not share my faith more often and with a greater sense of urgency????  This question literally keeps me up some nights.

Notice the last verse... "but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?" ...I read this verse and just stopped.  The next day I was driving in my car and really noticed those people standing on the corners with signs... God, do you mean I should do something about their physical needs?  The answer I received back: yes.  So I found a gas station, bought groceries, and brought them back (after trying to park on an interstate..this is difficult.).  I handed the man four bags of groceries.  He was crying.  I desperately wanted to share more of Jesus with him, but fear kept me from doing so.  So as I handed them to him I said something along the lines of "Jesus loves you! God bless you!  Good bye!"  ... Next time, I know I need to stop...pause... and actually have a conversation.

But the point is this... you can't just believe.  You can't just listen.  You can't just read.  You can't just pray.  You must, must, must act and do as Jesus did. 

Faith + deeds = bingo.

So, what will you do this week?

That is up to you.

Be blessed!

In Him,

Samantha

[James Chapter 1] - Thoughts to end a night

Hello dear readers!

This ones going to be a short one seeing as it is midnight.  But I wanted to jot down a few thoughts before they were forgotten into the dream world.

I've recently re-discovered the book of James in the Bible.  And, WOW.  I appreciate how blunt this book is because my personality is the same way.  It's convicting, to the point, and cuts to the chase.  Line after line spoke directly to my heart tonight during an evening of community worship at my house.    The following are a few (basic) thoughts on the first chapter of James...

He speaks about trial...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you now that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." (1:2)

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial." (1:12)

In my life lately, I've been facing what feels like trial, after trial, after trial this year.  And in almost every dimension...emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially.  Recently, I've been "attacked" spiritually (which I will write about in another post), my mom was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer, my uncle was diagnosed with stage 6 skin cancer, I had $1,200 stolen from me, my car broke down several times (and cost several dollars) and the list continues...

I could complain.  I could choose negativity (and for a long time, I did).  I could be cynical (and for a long time, I was).  And, most people would say I have the "right" to.  But do I?

No.  I don't.  Because my sufferings are nothing in comparison.  Granted, Christ sympathizes with my sufferings and cares about them.  But how hard is it to consider your trials PURE JOY?  Hard.  But is it worth it?  YES, because BLESSED is the man who perseveres UNDER trial...

He speaks about sin and temptation...

"When tempted, no one should say 'God is tempting me." (1:13)

"...nor does he [God] tempt anyone." (1:13)

"each is tempted by HIS OWN evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.  Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown, gives birth to death." (1:15)

This first verse is extremely interesting to me.  No one should say "God is tempting me."  I've heard it countless times.  People will be tempted and assume its some sort of crazy test.  But God isn't sitting up on a cloud going... "I wonder how much temptation Jane can handle this time.  I'll amp up the game and see what she does!"... no, no, no... GOD is NOT the one tempting you.  The verse goes on to say each is tempted by HIS OWN evil desire.  So...I will hazardly say that YOU are tempting YOU... and to some extent, I can see this.  We consistently put ourselves into situations that tempt us.

And do you notice the pattern?  Desire --> Sin --> Death

Interesting, isn't it?

He speaks about action...

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (1:19)

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  DO WHAT IT SAYS.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." (1:22)

"...continues to do this, not forgetting what he heard" (1:25)

The massive thing that is a red flag for me in these verses is essentially... you can't just go to church, pop a squat, hear the word, and then carry on back to la-ti-da life.. being a Christian means putting Christ into action.  I can relate to the mirror depiction given.  I used to go in and out of phases of reading the Bible.  Then when I'd come back to it I felt as though I forgot everything I read before, even though I'd go through my Bible and find hundreds of notes and marks, I couldn't remember putting any of them there or what those verses said.

The last verse I want to highlight is this... "...keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (1:27)

What does this mean to you?

I'm still pondering it...



Blessings!

In Him,

Samantha

Wives and Husbands: Love & Respect

Hello dear readers,

Its been, well, almost a year since I've posted in this blog.  Today I decided I really need to "start up" this blog again.  No matter if people read it or not, I really need to write for me...

So here it goes.

It might not be consistent all the time, but I'm gonna give it my best shot. 

This one, is about a topic I've been pondering a lot lately, and to be honest, it might be a little all over the place.  But I'll try to write with clarity. 

...... on to the blog

One of the most famous passages in the Bible on Wives/Husbands is found in Ephesians.  Ephesians 5:22-33 addresses this concept.  For quite sometime (probably years), I would read this passage and my mind would center on the word submit when it says, "Wives submit to your Husbands."  I would stop there and think - me?  submit to someone else?  yeah, right, like that will happen.  My heart was icy whenever anyone brought this subject up.  Possibly because I've been in abusive relationships, but ultimately I just didn't like the idea of submitting to anyone.  Ever.  Period.  End of story.

Thankfully, God doesn't stop working on my heart even though I'm ignorant sometimes and quite frankly pretty stubborn.

So today, a pastor I was listening to preached on this passage.  And at first, those initial feelings of "here we go again..." came up... but I pushed them down and told myself I was going to listen with open ears.

I was surprised by what he said.  And I found myself nodding consistently throughout the message (nodding in agreement - not snoozing). 

The biggest thing that stood out to me was this -
1) God is and needs to be in control (and the center) of relationships
2) we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
3) the wife/girlfriend/fiance relationship with God - and the husband/boyfriend/fiance relationship with God will determine the wife/girlfriend/fiance relationship with the husband/boyfriend/fiance

Submission doesn't mean coercive and one-sided... it is voluntary and mutual....this was my "AH HA! Light bulb" moment.

We don't submit because we have to...we submit out of love and service to Christ and others.

Bingo.  Win.  Breakthrough. 

I will want to submit to my husband/boyfriend/fiance out of love, respect... not because of force or obligation...

He said four things will cause breakups and divorce: criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness (Dr. John Gottman from the University of Washington came up with these).

Wives/girlfriends commonly criticise their husbands/boyfriends, which will lead to the husband/boyfriend stonewallling (shutting down emotionally) against their wives/girlfriends. And the cycle continues until there is no communication left.

In the Bible it commands husbands to love their wives.  It never commands wives to love their husbands.  But it does however command wives to respect their husbands.  Because men see love as respect (so in essence, it does command this). 

So my prayer is this. 

1) I will never immasculate or disrespect my future husband.
2) I will let God determine my husband, not my fleshy desires.
3) I will let God be enough.
4) I will learn the true meaning of submission and how it applies to my future marriage.
5) I will seek God in everything I do so that when I enter into a relationship it will be about Him not us.

Be blessed this week! 

In Him,

Samantha

In the Wilderness

I heard a speaker talk today and I was blown away.  He spoke exactly what my heart needed to hear at the perfect moment.

He talked on the idea of being 'in the wilderness.'  Throughout Scripture, there are many of examples of people entering this wilderness.  The wilderness is in fact an actual, physical place (located in the eastern part of the world) - but you can also think of it as a figurative place as well.

In Scripture we see all sorts of people who were sent into, ran into, or chose to go into the wilderness.  People like Moses, Sarah, Joseph, and even Jesus.

Sometimes God brought people into the wilderness to prepare them.
Sometimes people went into the wilderness because of their own sin.

Often times, words associated with the wilderness include:

Shame

Guilt

Fear

Depression

Worry

Anxiety

Loneliness

For me personally, this last month I've definitely been in the wilderness.  At the end of finals week in December I was defeated.  I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually worn out.  


During that week I had two options: press further into God OR turn away.  This is the choice we all have when faced with our own personal seasons of wilderness.  Sadly, many chose to turn away from God - even get angry with God that they are in this wilderness.  And this, is the choice I made.  

My Bible got dusty, I chose to listen to mainly secular music, and my pray life dwindled.

I could have chose to press in further, but instead I let my heart grow colder.  Because of this, I went through a month of stumbling, slipping, and sliding.  Many of us, find ourselves in this wilderness season often, and it usually looks different for everyone.


What I want to say is take courage and have hope if you find yourself in a similar season.  A down-and-out sort of place.  A rusted-and-chipped spot.  A I-can't-do-it-another-day stage.  


Check the verse: Deuteronomy 8:2-4 "Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.  He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." 


Resist turning away from God.  Its hard.  Its not easy.  And you might be in the wilderness for awhile.
But the good news is, 

the wilderness doesn't last forever.   

Jesus>Religion

Watch it.

Tell me what you think.

Serve

This is going to be a mumble jumble most likely.  I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.  


Two weeks ago I was having lunch with a friend.  I expressed to him how I felt like we needed to "do" more then we say.  How we needed to take words and put action to them.  How we needed to stop living in a bubble but get out there and reach the city in a real and relevant way.  Many people have these same sort of thoughts, ideas, and passions but that is all they remain.


So last night (Friday), we decided to go do.  We loaded our trunk with 20+ loaves of bread (thanks to Hyvee!), 5 gallons of coffee (thanks to Dennys!), and coffee containers (thanks to Panera!).  Along with the coffee and bread we also carried a few bags of shoes with us.  


Then, we hit the streets.


Literally.


We walked around asking people if they would like a cup of coffee and a loaf or two of bread.  We went downtown, to the trailer park, and finally to an apartment building most people avoid completely.  


We had no agenda.  We weren't shoving Bibles in peoples faces.  We weren't doing it to get a happy feeling.  We came merely to love and to serve.


People couldn't understand why.  It was unfathomable to them.  


Is there so little love in our world today that simple acts such as ours are considered so outlandish?  


There is something wrong with this. 


I'm not writing this to praise what we did - or to give the glory to us - because that is not the point.  The point is - we took a pinch of time, a few donations, and love to the streets - and this small effort had a big impact.  


We didn't need to come forcing Jesus - He showed up all on his own.  And now, a recovering drug addict, a deaf man, a homeless person from Nashville, and an older gentlemen no longer contemplating suicide are coming to church on Sunday to learn more about Jesus and his love.  


Romans 13:8 - Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.  


Galatians 5:13 - For you were called to freedom, brothers.  Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.


Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.


Jesus, show us how to love and serve those around us better.  Give us eyes to see your children as you see them.


In Him,


Samantha

Idol Sickness

In 2 Kings it reads: they followed worthless idols, and they themselves became worthless.  I heard this verse read today - and it literally caused me to stop and think.    


We often times think of "idols" as statues, witch doctors in another country, possessions, or people who we literally worship.  Idols are much more then this.  An idol is anything that takes precedence over God in our lives.  An idol can be food, money, a job, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a spouse, a celebrity, school, you name it.  


In America, we're really good about disguising our idols.  And we probably have more of them in our culture then anywhere else.


We value the fact that we can make our own decisions and choices and yet we're really slaves to the worldly things that consume us.  


We're all longing for that hole in our life to be fulfilled - we all want to be satisfied.  Many of us however, chose to fill that hole with idol after idol moving onto the next when the first doesn't fulfill.  The devil continually looks for ways to fill our longings with things that will ultimately steal, kill, and destroy us.  


Often times, the idol he gets us to follow won't even be something that is blatant, especially within the "Christian" sect.  


For example, recently I found myself thinking often about my future career, and the longing to have a family.  Those two things are not bad things to think about - but they began to consume my thoughts, my ideas, and invade most parts of my day - becoming my idol.  


If we allow ourselves to be consumed with idols in our life - and start to follow worthless things - we will ultimately become those things.  We become what we consume our lives with.  


So whats your idol?  
Food?  Money?  A desire for a spouse/significant other?  A career?  A job?  Technology?  Pride?  Competition?  Music?  Industry?  Reality TV?  A celebrity?  A sports team?


Identify it.  Thats step one.  


Papa God I pray that we are so consumed with You and the things of eternity and of Your Kingdom that earthly things don't even compare.  I ask that You would reveal our idols to us God and begin to revive our hearts with a new passion for You.  Papa, we live to glorify You and make Your Kingdom known.  


In your beautiful son Jesus name,


Amen.  

Tell Someone

Today, I was sitting in Caribou - like any old regular Wednesday evening.  It is my favorite spot to study.  I have coffee, treats, space, light background music, all at my disposal.  I could not ask for a better environment.  

As I sat there, happily listening to my "Jack Johnson/Casting Crowns" mixed Pandora Radio Station, memorizing the 206 bones of the human body, a woman walks up to me.  This evening, it was particularly crowded in Caribou and I happened to have a large table all to myself.  As she approached, I assumed that she was going to ask if we could share tables.  

She stood next to my table.  I took my headphones off, looked up at her, and smiled politely.  She flashed a bright white smile back at me.  I noticed she was dressed quite well for a Wednesday night at Caribou, but I didn't dwell on it that much.  After a moment she asked, "may I ask you a question?" to which I responded, "sure."  Mistake 1.  

She looked very enthusiastic all of a sudden.  It was then I realized the microphone and camera behind her.  The next few moments were a blur.  She said something about being from a news station, and then asked me my thoughts and opinions on the death of Steve Jobs.  

My mind went blank.  I didn't know what to say, so naturally I said "um I'm sorry, who?"  Mistake 2.  She crinkled her eyebrows in disgust and with thick sarcasm and a snappy tone said "are you serious?"  To which I responded with a blank stare, wanting to sink into the chair.

She hesitates, then turns to the man at the table next to me and says, "you know who Steve Jobs is - right?"  And of course, like the rest of the word, he knew who Steve Jobs was.  He not only knew who Steve Jobs was, but continued to eloquently comment on the death of Steve Jobs and his opinions on the company and what was to come.  

She proceeded to make her rounds to all of the Caribou customers - all of who knew who Steve Jobs was.  While I pretended to listen to my Apple iPod - I heard her say from across the room - "you guys know who Steve Jobs is right? I can't believe some people don't!"  

Good grief.  I felt like the worlds biggest idiot.  

After my embarrassment had somewhat passed I began thinking about something more important than who Steve Jobs is.  It got me thinking about who Jesus is - and how many people would know who He is and what He died for if we went and asked them.

Would your family know?

Would your friends know?

Would your co-workers know?

And if not, what are you doing about it?

At the finale of your life - it will be more important that you know who Jesus is, than who Steve Jobs is.  And I'm glad to say that I may not have known who Steve Jobs was, but I know who Jesus is, and I know what He died for.

Get out of your comfort zone.  Ask someone.  Tell someone.  

Remember: 

Knowing Jesus > Knowing ______(insert any human being name)  

Blessings,

Samantha

Learning to Trust

Disclaimer:  I am human.  I don't claim to be otherwise.  This blog may (or better yet will) contain errors.  If you'd like to leave a comment or your thoughts, please do so.  If you have constructive criticism, I'll take it.  If you have just plain criticism, I'll leave it.  I just want to share my heart, and my thoughts.  Thank you for reading:).


Its been awhile since I've last wrote, to be more precise, its been roughly three months.  Why?  I could give all sorts of excuses.  The fact that I worked full time this summer, took a stats class online, and had an internship all at he same time took a hefty stab on my free time and hobbies.  Needless to say, I'm back at it - and happy to be.  I'm going to be a consistent blogger (or that is my aspiration), from here on out. 


Now, on to the blog...


There are two seasons in the midwest; winter - and road construction.  Quite literally.  The other day I was driving down I-35.  It was a lengthy stretch of about 200 miles from Minneapolis to centeral Iowa.  And wouldn't you know it, I ran into road construction.  The nice and speedy two lane interstate turned into a 55mph one lane.  I was upset at this 4 mile stretch which was taking up an extra five minutes of my delicate time, and expressing this as a severe case of road rage.  However, as I looked across to the other stretch of I-35 going north, I saw bumper to bumper traffic for miles.  Not just slow moving traffic, but stop and go traffic that seemed to go on forever.  I laughed as I neared the end of this build up thinking, "You don't even know what's comin!" 


The next thought that popped into mind was "Samantha, lately, I have been like you, and you have been like the person about to hit that 10 mile stretch of ugly traffic."  It was that nice, gentle, voice of Papa God that I had not heard in some time (due to my own fault of laziness - but that is another story).  I was alarmed at this thought.  What could this possibly mean?  God on this side of the road, and me on the other?  I began to sit on this thought for awhile, wanting to dismiss it but unable to.  Finally it came to me.  God was telling me that He knew better then I did what was ahead of me - and that I needed to trust Him, even when I didn't feel like it, because Him and Him alone can see the "block of traffic" that I was about to hit. By trusting in myself I would hit that block of traffic, but by trusting in Him, I could avoid it.  


I realize this not make all that much sense.  It makes sense in my head but then as I write it it comes out in mumbo jumbo.  Let me simplify.  We are a people who love control.  Who love to make our own decisions and put all trust in ourselves.  We think we know whats best, and we believe that our way is the (only) right way.  However, God is beyond the "now" of our lives.  He knows whats best - after all He does have plans to prosper us, give us hope, and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  Then why do we consistently lean on our own (and weak) human strength when God already has a plan, and knows best?  


Learning to trust in God has been one of the hardest, but most rewarding things I have ever done.  Don't get me wrong - I'm still learning, but its getting better every day.  For a long time, I felt the urge and compulsion to control everything in my life.  However, lately I've just submitted and felt comforted by the fact that the God I believe in is much more worthy to trust with my life than I am.  If He has plans to prosper me, give me hope, give me a future, make my paths straight, counsel and watch over me (all promises that the Bible makes, Jer 29:11, Psalm 32:8, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 145:18)- who better to put complete trust in?  


So here is my challenge.  Trust in the Lord.  Really trust in Him.  Meditate on those verses.  Figure out what areas your not giving Him complete control and trust over.  


Psalm 118:8 “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Its About the Relationship

I grew up attending a Catholic church for the first 18 or so years of my life.  I have nothing against Catholics, its important for you to know and understand that right off the bat - but I state it for story sake.  Anyway, continuing on.  

I grew up Catholic, like I said.  My parents were terrific - we said prayers as a family before bed and dinners, we went to church each Sunday, my brother and I attended Wednesday evening service as well as Sunday school, and we were often involved in the church happenings.  I grew up a happy child, in a loving home, with great parents - which I feel extremely blessed for.  However, I failed to grasp something all of those years of my life - relationship with Jesus.  

Growing up, my understanding of God was that he was a big God, a good God, but far far away, in some distant galaxy.  My understanding of Jesus was limited to the fact that He was God's son, and He forgave me.  I understood "religion" as being a good person, being nice to other people, going to church on Sundays, and making sure to confess all of your sins.  That was my limited understanding of it.  

I could go on and finish the rest of my testimony, but today I just want to focus on what I missed out on growing up.  I built up this idea of God, religion, and Jesus, but it was for the most part, all no good - I missed the big picture entirely.  

Relationship with Jesus Christ is much, much more then a church visit on Sunday, a good Bible study, carrying someone's groceries for them, a spiritual high, a memorized Bible verse, a confessed sin, or signs and wonders.

Relationship with Jesus Christ is about pursuing Him wholeheartedly.  This means digging into His word, talking to Him, making Him top priority.  

If Jesus Christ is NOT occupying the top of our priority list and something else is - this is called idolatry.  

God says in Exodus to not have any God's but Him, and to not worship false idols.  

Sometimes I think that when we think of idols we think of statues of pagan gods, greek gods, sacrifices  rituals, or something of the sort.  I know that when I thought of "idols" I always thought of stone statues and people bowing down to them.  

The scary reality is however, is that there are probably more idols in our day in age then ever before. 

I realize this is a bold comment to make, but think about it.  Facebook, Twitter, texting, money, relationship status, technology gadgets - iPods, iPads, iPhones, cars, homes, fashion, food, singers, actors/actresses, books, models, movies, and so much more can be constituted as idols now - and we probably don't even realize it.  

Even seemingly "good" things can become idols.

My challenge to you is to take a serious look at your life and really examine if there is anything in your life that could constitute an idol.  Mine personally, was getting to be Facebook for awhile there.  I'd choose it over reading Scripture, soaking, spending time with God, ect... Before I realized it it was the first thing I checked in the morning and the last thing I checked at night.  Finally, I woke up to the reality that it was taking up more of my time then God was - that is an issue.  

Enough religion, more relationship.  More intentional, spirit-filled, wholehearted relationship with God.  

More reading His word - and less Facebook status's.

More talking to Him - and less texting, Facebook chatting.

More soaking in worship music - and less soaking in reality tv and movies with less then God-glorifying messages.  

To all in my generation: its time to take a stand!  The devil lures us by all of these "innocent," seemingly "less destructive" idols.... time to say no.  The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy.  Our God comes with plans to prosper, and bring love in peace... 

More of Him - less of the worldly.  

It may seem radical, it may seem harsh - but in the end, all else fades, and one thing remains.  

In Him,

Samantha 

Love for Enemies

Tonight, I just wanted to share a piece of whats been on my heart.  And I truly want to get better at this blogging thing, since I just noticed I haven't blogged since March!  So much to tell, and so little time.  I am committing to get better. 


Luke 6:27-36 has been on my heart lately.  Quite a bit.  Here is the Scripture:


 ²⁷ “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸ bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. ³⁰ Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.
   ³² “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. ³⁴ And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. ³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.


In the Christian culture it is said "love your enemies" - and everyone says it like its the simplest thing to do.  It is not.  Doing good to those who hate you, blessing those who curse you, and praying for those who mistreat you are definitely not the easiest things - at least not in my book.  


For a long time now, Jesus has been teaching me how to love other people.  And I mean it - love.  Not just tolerate or put up with but -  L-O-V-E.  


Our lives speak volumes to those around us.  If we begin to show others the love that Christ has for us, what a testimony that will be to others about Jesus.  


People don't want to often times listen to our words (take it from someone who makes public attempts at evangalization) - BUT - they can't help but gaze at our actions.  I say that with the intent of keeping Jesus at the forefront of everything we do.  


Challenge: try loving your enemies.  Really loving them.  Not out of self righteousness, not out of pity, or expecting anything in return...just genuine, heart-felt love.  


I will post soon - much to tell about YATEC! (Young Adults Together Encountering Christ)


In His name, 


Samantha

The Ultimate Treasure Hunt

So I've been reading this book lately entitled: "The Ultimate Treasure Hunt" by Kevin Dedmon.  Excellent book by the way, check it out if you have some free time.  Anyway, so the book describes a treasure hunt for the ultimate treasure -- people!  Its a treasure hunt like no other - thats for sure.  So tonight, along with a few close friends, we decided to go out into the city of Willmar and try it out for ourselves.


Simply put, each person prays and has his/her own list.  You write down six locations, six names, six appearances, six things people may need prayer for, and six unusual things that come to mind that God reveals to you.  After this, you start hunting.


So our first location came up to be Wal-Mart.  We did some neat things there, but nothing hit me personally there.  Then onto Cashwise.  This is where I really saw God start moving and revealing "treasure" to me.  Keep in mind, before this, I had hardly done any evangelizing and I was scared half to death.


One of my friends had "Abbie" on his list.  We knew our friend Abbie was working so we went to see if she  needed prayer.  Turns out, she was having knee pain - which of course - happened to be on his list.  Three of us prayed for her knee, right there smack dab in Cashwise.  As we were praying, her knee "popped."  Healing?  Perhaps.


After this, we traveled on some more.  I was getting excited now to find a treasure of my own.  I spotted a young boy wearing a sea blue sweatshirt.  That was on my list.  I trembled.  What do I do now! I thought to myself.  I selfishly ignored it - and walked on.  Minutes later, there he was again - right in my path.  I ignored it a second time.  I didn't see him again until we were about to leave.  We entered the video section and there he was once again, looking at video games this time.  I panicked.  Okay God - I thought - I'll do it, I'll do it!  So with the help of a friend, I approached him.  We began talking and it became easy.  By God's grace I knew he was in 7th grade and my friend Andy knew he liked math, this made the conversation more interesting.  Also, the three of us had all grown up going to St. Mary's church - another interesting connection.   Finally, I spat it out.  I told him that his sweatshirt color was on my list and asked if I could pray for him...he agreed!  Woofta.  So, I did just that.  Andy and I both felt like the young guy was going to be a leader so we just released God's blessings over him and said goodbye.


Now, I was really on fire.  I wanted more of God and I wanted to reach more people with the good news of the Kingdom!


Next, we went to Culvers.  Immediately I noticed a young gal (mid twenties maybe) wearing a bright pink shirt.  Sure enough, I had bright pink on my list.  I heard someone call her name - Sara - also on my list.  I asked her how she spelled it due to the fact there are a few ways to spell Sara.  She spelled it for me just as I had wrote it not an hour before.  I proceeded to tell her that I was on a treasure hunt, then handed her my list and asked her if she related to anything on it.  She held it for quite some time, really taking into consideration everything on it.


She then began to tell us a story of how her mom lost her job because of a false "money" stealing accusation.  And how her and her mom were low on "money" and how she was the only source of income currently.  And wouldn't you know it -- I had "money" under "things people need prayer for."  She allowed me the privilege to pray for her out loud.  After that, we began sharing Jesus with her....


God is so very good...and He is above the rules and the boxes we try and put Him in...

A Generation Deceived

One of the biggest lies that bombards us from the media is that women, especially young women, must be THIN.  Not just average, but thin. Average, is no longer good enough.  Average is the ‘new’ overweight. This thinking has led to the destruction of many young women and the increasing advancement of bulimia and anorexia.  Currently today, two-thirds of underweight twelve-year-olds consider themselves fat. 

The media purposefully alters images of women on the front of magazines.  Why?  So that women will fall for the trap and be deceived by the lies.  The lie that we are indeed too large for our own good.  The lie that we are indeed not yet beautiful enough but must buy their new “must have” product in order to make ourselves look and feel more beautiful. Their goal is to make sure that you feel the need to buy their products.  And they will push any angle in order to get this accomplished. 

Take a look at the latest magazine covers. Almost always you will find something on the cover to help alter yourself.

“Abs in under 5 minutes” …because your not “sexy” enough…

 “5 tricks to dieting” …because your not “thin” enough…

“Making the cut” …because your not “athletic” enough…

“How to make him want you more” …because your not “desirable” enough…

“Turn your B’s into A’s” …because your not “smart” enough…

“10 steps to a better you” …because your not “good” enough…

Here is a glance into the life of a twelve-year-old girl.  This story is taken from “Lies Young Women Believe.” 

Caitlyn was twelve when she began to believe that she was fat.  At fourteen she began to do something about it.  Most days she just didn’t eat.  She scheduled her high school classes so she wouldn’t have a lunch period.  If she ever caved in and ate, she ate a lot.  Then she felt forced to throw up…and to demand a four or five mile run of herself.  By the time she was in high school she’d starved herself down to eighty pounds; her period had stopped, and doctors were concerned that she’d have a heart attack.  While she was getting treatment, she couldn’t stand the weight she was gaining, though she was still considerably underweight.  To punish herself, she stuck a rusty nail in her arm and left it there for days.  By the time it was discovered, the infection was so bad that the doctors feared Caitlyn would lose her arm, if not her life.

Believe it or not, I knew many girls that went to these kinds of extreme lengths, even in my high school.  Girls I was friends with would often push food around their trays, making it look like they were eating.  Others would just skip lunch entirely, opting to hide out in the locker room or other areas.  


Currently, I hold a job at a local gym and I see young girls come in and workout for hours at a time when I can see the bones in their legs and arms and they look as if they could fall apart at any instant.  My heart yearns to reach out to these girls, but most of them don’t even know they have a problem.  One young girl comes in each day and works out for roughly four hours at a time.  She looks breakable and spends the entire four hours doing a pure strenuous cardio workout.  I understand marathon runners who have to train sometimes hours at a time (mostly because I am a runner), but this is not anything remotely similar.  This is abusing her body because she doesn’t feel that it is currently good enough the way it is.  This, is dangerous.  And this, is a lie. 

Back to the story in Genesis – Eve.  Eve cooperated by listening to the lies that Satan was feeding her.  The first lie that Eve, and we, are prone to make is sticking around long enough to actually listen to the lies that Satan tells us. 

The first mistake we make is to actually listen to something that is a lie. 

You don’t have to touch it, like it, believe it, agree with it, repeat it, - you just have to listen. 

Caitlyn was an athletic middle student then became a fashion&beauty image-obsessed beauty queen. It just takes the initial listening…She began feasting on magazines that gave her advice on men, friendships, social issues, and contained images of sensual photographs of half-naked young women, pro-homosexual articles, and advice on sex…she made the mistake many young women make, believing the lie that “It can’t just hurt to look, …right?” 

We need to run from anything that would send us in a direction that is contrary to God’s purpose for our life. 

“Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.  Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies” (2 Timothy 2:22-23)

Flee. Run. Get away. Sprint. Go. Hustle. Hurry. Escape. Bolt. Fly. Breakaway.                     
From anything contradictory to God’s TRUTH. 

It is hard because our culture has a way of convincing us that it is not harmful to listen to music, books, read magazines, date non-Christian men, watch movies that are indeed harmful to us.  Of course not all books, magazines, movies, and music are bad.  But I think we need to be more cautious.  We know we’re not supposed to lie, do drugs, get drunk, have sex with multiple people, and yet many Christians enjoy watching television programs that flaunt these themes, listen to music and sing popular songs with unwholesome lyrics, flock to theaters to see a movie with “just one little sex” scene.  Why? 

We know we shouldn’t have idols, spend excessive money, and be consumed by physical beauty but yet we buy Teen Vouge, Seventeen, are obsessed with jean labels, and spend over an hour working on our hair and face every morning.  Why?

DON’T cooperate with Satan.  Steer clear of the lies and the mess and destruction he wishes to impend on your life.

After listening to the lie, we DWELL on it.  And let it soak.  This is mistake #2.

We begin to dwell on what we can’t have and can’t do rather than focus on the amazing and abundant gifts God has already given us.  God is a generous, loving God – that is truth. 

In Deuteronomy 6, God reminds us WHY he places “rules,” not to suck the fun out of our lives but to prosper us.  He has our best interests in mind. 

Do you believe this? Do you believe God has given his children “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1:3) or do you dwell on the boundaries He has placed in your life and forget that the limits for your protection. 

Enough focusing on the forbidden – more focusing on the blessings!

Messages fired at you constantly tell you that “your not beautiful” and “your not enough” …is it any wonder that our generation struggles with the sense of self-worth and identity?  We can’t afford to dwell on this to lose even a minute of focus on God’s goodness.

Time to listen, read, study, indulge in, relish, love, adore, GOD’S TRUTH which is found in HIS WORD. 

God’s word is an essential part of our armor against Satan’s subtle attacks.

But sad to say, much of this generation doesn’t know Scripture.

Many Christian teens are not falling outright for Wicca, Buddhism, or Scientology.   BUT many Christian teens are being influenced by them…often times integrating half-truths from them into  the Christian faith because they are not well grounded in what God says. 

I fell for this mistake. 

When I began college at age 16 I was not grounded in my faith because I grew up thinking that religion was about practices and rules, not a relationship.  So when I entered college I was quick to fall for Satan’s trap of lies.  I began doing things to merely fit in with the crowd.  I still went to church every Sunday and assumed I was Christian because I was following the “practices” and because my parents were Christian.  I was entirely wrong however.

One girl said this:

“I don’t want to be challenged to read the Bible by my youth pastor or to fast from something in my Christian school chapel.  I want to hear from God myself.  And right now, I just want to hang with God.”

Scary.  In order to hear what God’s saying to you and to understand His plan and purpose for your life, you have to be reading and dwelling in His Word.  You don’t have to search mystically for His voice, he wrote it down for you. 

If your going to win the battle Satan is waging against you, you have got to be getting yourself grounded in Scripture and be able to speak it accurately to those who are parroting Satan’s lies in our culture. 

If you are not filling your mind with God’s truth, you will end up believing his lies whether you want to or not.  And what you believe will determine the way you live.

You may find yourself skipping class or talking back to your parents.

You may be prone to lying or looking at porn.

You may overeat or starve yourself.

It doesn’t matter how we act it out, every sin begins with a lie.  And these lies will eventually become patterned.

Eve listened to the lie: She got close to the Serpent and entertained his suggestion.

Eve dwelled on the lie She conversed with him and considered what he said.

Eve believed the lie: She believed the Serpent’s promise was more trustworthy than what God had said.

Eve acted on the lie: She ate the fruit. 

You can chose to feel differently.  Spend time retraining your mind with TRUTH.  You can win this battle. 

Start diving into God’s word…