Hello dear readers,
Its been, well, almost a year since I've posted in this blog. Today I decided I really need to "start up" this blog again. No matter if people read it or not, I really need to write for me...
So here it goes.
It might not be consistent all the time, but I'm gonna give it my best shot.
This one, is about a topic I've been pondering a lot lately, and to be honest, it might be a little all over the place. But I'll try to write with clarity.
...... on to the blog
One of the most famous passages in the Bible on Wives/Husbands is found in Ephesians. Ephesians 5:22-33 addresses this concept. For quite sometime (probably years), I would read this passage and my mind would center on the word submit when it says, "Wives submit to your Husbands." I would stop there and think - me? submit to someone else? yeah, right, like that will happen. My heart was icy whenever anyone brought this subject up. Possibly because I've been in abusive relationships, but ultimately I just didn't like the idea of submitting to anyone. Ever. Period. End of story.
Thankfully, God doesn't stop working on my heart even though I'm ignorant sometimes and quite frankly pretty stubborn.
So today, a pastor I was listening to preached on this passage. And at first, those initial feelings of "here we go again..." came up... but I pushed them down and told myself I was going to listen with open ears.
I was surprised by what he said. And I found myself nodding consistently throughout the message (nodding in agreement - not snoozing).
The biggest thing that stood out to me was this -
1) God is and needs to be in control (and the center) of relationships
2) we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
3) the wife/girlfriend/fiance relationship with God - and the husband/boyfriend/fiance relationship with God will determine the wife/girlfriend/fiance relationship with the husband/boyfriend/fiance
Submission doesn't mean coercive and one-sided... it is voluntary and mutual....this was my "AH HA! Light bulb" moment.
We don't submit because we have to...we submit out of love and service to Christ and others.
Bingo. Win. Breakthrough.
I will want to submit to my husband/boyfriend/fiance out of love, respect... not because of force or obligation...
He said four things will cause breakups and divorce: criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness (Dr. John Gottman from the University of Washington came up with these).
Wives/girlfriends commonly criticise their husbands/boyfriends, which will lead to the husband/boyfriend stonewallling (shutting down emotionally) against their wives/girlfriends. And the cycle continues until there is no communication left.
In the Bible it commands husbands to love their wives. It never commands wives to love their husbands. But it does however command wives to respect their husbands. Because men see love as respect (so in essence, it does command this).
So my prayer is this.
1) I will never immasculate or disrespect my future husband.
2) I will let God determine my husband, not my fleshy desires.
3) I will let God be enough.
4) I will learn the true meaning of submission and how it applies to my future marriage.
5) I will seek God in everything I do so that when I enter into a relationship it will be about Him not us.
Be blessed this week!
In Him,
Samantha
We specifically asked our Pastor to preach this lesson @ our wedding, not because I was going to submit to my husband, but for verse 25. Yes women submit to their husbands but in the same way they submit to The Lord in return husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church!
ReplyDeleteBut you are right Samantha - most people, women specifically, can't get past the submit word to see the true meaning.
Imagine the love of two people, the strength of their marriage when they follow this passage.