The Rubber Band Effect

So it's been roughly 9 months or so since I've last blogged, which there are several reasons for.  And who knows, this may be the only time I blog for the next 9 months.  But that's really neither here nor there.

For awhile I've been stuck in a rut.  I'm not really sure how to describe it other than that.  It's a rut.  And it seemed as though no matter how hard I "tried" to get out of it, I "couldn't."  I'd almost make it, then just as I was at the top, I'd fall right back down again.  And there I'd be, still stuck in the rut.

I quote the words "tried" and "couldn't" because the reality is there are things I could have done to get out.  The reality is I made a choice not to get out - I just perceived it as I "couldn't" so that I could continue to be stuck - if that makes sense.

I was visiting family today and my (highly adorable) almost 6-year-old cousin said something that was hilarious - but then struck me as also applicable to this scenario.  She said "Sam, I can't decide who I love more...cousin Marly, or you cousin Sam."  In my rut, I felt as though this is where I was at with God - "God I can't decide who I love more, you or my idol over here."

And because I continually chose "my idol" - I was continually "stuck."  I call this the rubber band effect because when it feels like we're stuck in this rut, we seem to be wearing a rubber band that will only allow for us to climb so far before it snaps us back down.

So for the past few weeks, lets be honest, months, I've been choosing my idols time, and time, and time again.  I know what's "right," I know what I "should" choose, I just...don't.

But today as I was standing in church something hit me square in the face.  For the first time in awhile, I felt God speaking to me and this is what I heard - "I'm fighting for you.  Don't you understand that there's a battle for your soul?"... and in that instance it was like a brick wall exploded inside of me.

Here are a few things that I would like to point out in Scripture:

1) GOD doesn't tempt us
2) Temptation --> drags you away --> you get enticed --> desire is conceived --> sin --> sin grows to death
3) God's law brings FREEDOM - not a boring, restricted, uninteresting life

Those things can all be found in James, chapter 1 - I encourage you to read about it for yourself.

I was so blinded by my idols that I couldn't see what was right in front of me the entire time.

I have much more to say on this subject, but for now my laundry is done and I should attend to some adult responsibilities like cleaning and jogging and reading TIME Magazine.

Until next time.

Samantha